Y’all, GOD IS GOOD!!!
He worked in me today and it’s too good not share! Check this out:
I was diagnosed with chronic depression at the age of 12 and have struggled with it my entire life. Recently, life has just been a lot and I had been thinking about suicide for the past couple of weeks. I’ve been attending counseling and I’ve been taking my medicine, but there was something in my spirit that was nagging at me to tell someone at church.
I don’t share my depression.
I pushed that nagging spirit down for a good two weeks before I couldn’t contain my pain any longer. Tonight, at our Bible study group I went to one of the pastor’s and confessed to him what my soul has been going through. I hadn’t even told my counselor yet, but I told a pastor I hardly knew something deep and dark within me.
I was nervous and terrified.
After telling him these things, the pastor looked me dead in the eyes and said, “I see a spirit of joy in you.”
In my head I was thinking this guy was borderline crazy. I had just told him I wanted to kill myself and he said he sees joy in me?
He took my hands and lifted them towards the sky and told me to look up to the heavens, so I did.
He then asked me to repeat declaration after declaration, casting out the stain of death, depression, and anxiety. While I’m doing this, my soul was yearning to be filled by the Holy Spirit, but my mind kept telling me that this was a bunch of baloney.
He then placed his hands on my forehead and spoke a prayer over me. He then commanded the devil to flee. I thought this man was crazy.
He then commanded one of my friends to stand behind me in case I fainted and that’s when I tried not to laugh. Who did this guy think he is? I’m not going to faint because of the Holy Spirit. The only people who do that are crazy Pentecostal women who seek attention- right?
He started speaking over me again while his hand was firm on my forehead. I kept thinking, I’m not gonna give in to this Holy Spirit mess. I just needed a nice prayer and then I’d be on my way.
He then warned me he was going to breathe the Holy Spirit into me. I braced myself, certain I wasn’t going to faint or move. He prayed a few more words and then breathed on my face. Then and there I decided to let go of my thoughts and let my soul take hold of the Holy Spirit.
I knees buckled and I fell back and was washed over by the Holy Spirit.
While on the ground my body felt like it was ascending towards a bright light I could only see in my subconscious (I know they say don’t go towards the light, but I just had too.)
I started towards the light, and then I basked in it. It consumed my vision, and overtook my being.
Pastor then commanded that death and the devil leave me, and without any prompting my hands and arms started shaking and I could feel a weight physically being lifted off of me. I had no control over my body for a good 5 seconds, and then peace.
I, for the first time in years, felt a peace that I had never felt. Then that peace turned to joy, then love, then acceptance, then forgiveness for myself and others, and now I’m so joyful I can’t sleep. I’ve told multiple people about the MIRACLE that just occurred in my own spirit.
The crazy thing is I got home and had to finish writing a paper (and I was joyful about it. Weird, right?) I have an app that shows daily Bible verses on my desktop screensaver and guess what today’s was!?!?!?
“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
—- Revelation 21:4 (NIV)
WHATTT!?!!? (mind. blown.)
GOD IS GOOD my friends.
I don’t know if this story sounds crazy or maybe even unbelievable, but guess what’s not- my God.
I know that the joy He has filled me with will last forever and ever. While I may not always be happy and I may still have to fight my depression with everything I have, I know what happened tonight to be true. I experienced the Holy Spirit in a way that I didn’t even know was possible.
I have to be up in less then six hours from now, but His love and joy is filling me to the brim and I can feel it overflowing in me and I can’t contain my joy and happiness right now.
Won’t He do it? (Yes He will.)
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.
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