The past year has been a tough one.
I went through a rough patch and had to dropout of school for a year and work on myself. I felt like a failure and I was so embarrassed. Why would God do this to me? Why couldn't I just go to school like a normal 20 year old and get decent grades and have good friendships?
I was so frusterated God and with myself. I felt like a bad statistic and hated myself for not being mentally strong and healthy enough to stay in school.
But, after a year off I am back in college and just finished my first day of college. The crazy thing is I'm feeling an emotion I haven't felt in so long: hope.
Why? honestly I don't know, but I think it has something to do with a game I played the other night called "The 36 Questions that Lead to Love." The idea of the game is if you and a person answer each question honestly then you will fall in love by the end. My friend and I didn't end up falling in love, but we found out a lot of deep and beautiful things about the other person.
One of the questions asked each of us to share a positive characteristic about the other person and what my friend said about me has yet to leave my mind- he said,
"I admire your strength. You are coming back to a place where you had the worst year of your life and you're here with a smile. You show me that sometimes you just have to push through and get up every morning and do things that you don't want to too be successful. You inspire me."
All this time I thought I was weak and a failure and my friend says he sees strength? At first I was confused but now I understand.
Though his words were kind and sweet he missed something that sometimes I miss too: I am not strong- God is.
He is my rock and my fortress. He promises me in the book of Isaiah that I can lean on him and he will help me stand.
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. – Isaiah 40:31
Through the hard times and through the sad times, let God be your strength. He is waaay stronger than you, your problems, your sadness, your sickness and even the devil.
His love a strength surpasses others.
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“The Lord bless you and keep you;the Lord make his face shine on youand be gracious to you;the Lord turn his face toward youand give you peace.”’