As some of you saw in my last post a student from my old college passed away weeks before graduation and his wedding. (to help pay for his funeral click here)
To be honest, I didn’t know him that well but the Lord placed it on my heart to help out his family and help with the funeral and burial cost. I really sympathized with the family and how crazy and devastating it must feel for someone to just…die. No goodbye, no last kiss, he was just gone.
During worship tonight people are worshipping and singing God’s praises and I made it look like I was joining in and having the same experience as them, but on the inside I was hurting and confused. I didn’t want to sing God’s praises, I wanted to yell at Him and ask Him why!? Why would a God of love and mercy inflict such pain and torment on a mother, or a fiancé!? He was so young and talented and God decided that now was HIs time!? His life hadn’t even begun and now he would never get to live it.
I ended up balling my eyes out in the middle of the service, but instead of feeling embarrassed I just got angrier. I ended up leaving early and on the walk back to my dorm I just started questioning everything, from my faith to my purpose and then for some reason (probably a God thing) the name Job popped into my head.
I kept thinking about how he literally lost everything and he screamed and questioned God and how God gave the best/worst answer:
“Who is this that obscures my plans
with words without knowledge?
3 Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.
4 “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.
5 Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?
6 On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone—
7 while the morning stars sang together
and all the angels shouted for joy?
God kept going on verse after verse about how He is I AM and how vast His knowledge and wisdom is, that we couldn’t grasp even a fraction of what knows. He was there at the beginning and is present at the future, do we really think He doesn’t know what He’s doing!?
It was a wake up call.
Even though we won’t know why bad things happen, we are assured multiple time throughout the Bible that during those bad times God is ALWAYS there to comfort us. We have Him and His army of angels on our side, what can stand against us?
I know that sometimes life is just rough, but thank the Lord that we never have to face those rough times alone.